4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
