By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize