Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
