brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If that was your dad, he is hot
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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