belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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