Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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