new low.... made out with someone while peeing
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
