We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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