I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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