i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
