Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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