your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
