Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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