I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
