I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize