I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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