I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
