ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
