How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
