I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
