Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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