she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
