either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
