i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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