Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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