As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
