I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
