Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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