you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Mom said you looked used
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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