Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
