Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
