Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
