dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
