nut hugger
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
