I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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