i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize