He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
