so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Porn is love you can see.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize