is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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