quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm both gender and math confused
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
