Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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