Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
