I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
