I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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