Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
