my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
