oh god the rape fog is back!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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