I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
