i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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