Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
