What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize