HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
