I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
