Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
