After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The power of my boobs compel you
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize