so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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