My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
