Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize