you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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