i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize