You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
