break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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