we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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