god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
