Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
