Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
