When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
