Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize