why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
