There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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