he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
