She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
