Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
