Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
