Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
